EXTENDED INFORMATION
VOICE OF GOD
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The Scriptures give us a clear picture of an authority hierarchy.
3But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Corinthians 11:3.
This verse makes very clear the authority/submission relationship that is applicable to husbands and wives. And in turn this establishes the hierarchy for all authority relationships.
A. THE CONSTRUCT
Putting that verse into a diagrammatic representation:
- HIERARCHY OF AUTHORITY
- FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP
- AUTHORITY descending
- SUBMISSION ascending
- EQUALITY not an issue:
B. TO HUSBANDS—HUSBANDS TO CHRIST
This is the most critical item in the hierarchy as established in 1 Corinthians 11:3, as far as society is concerned.
The husband has two lines of access to the Father—in fact both through Jesus Christ. Hence there is no difference for the husband, whether it is personal or functional.
If this relationship fails, the flow-on ramifications are enormous.
It affects the wife in all her domestic relationship, that will affect her performance in other relationships––to her children domestically, or in other employment or community and church roles in which she is involved.
It will directly affect his children and their performance––as gracious little kids, or school-yard bullies.
It will affect his performance as a caring and responsible boss or manager, or a submissive and obedient employee.
QUESTION to the husband: Has the Father ever said to you, “Don’t bother Me, I am too busy”? Has He ever been short, abrupt, impatient, indifferent, dismissive, demanding, … ?
No doubt the answer is, “No”. And it doesn’t matter whether it is at the personal or functional level. There is no intervening interruption. The husband never has an excuse for rejecting the authority and leadership of God the Father. He never has the need to ever question the actions of his loving Father.
He has no excuse for refusing to submit, because he thinks it is unfair or unjust. Now he must remember this in the situations that require him to convey authority, so that the Voice of God is heard. To seek to be always available, caring and interested.
When he speaks to his wife in the functional relationship, she must be able to hear the Voice of God in that hierarchy of the authority-submission role. And she must be able to appreciate the same Father Whose authority she hears personally.
At work—in the office or government department—his inferiors must hear a gracious and caring boss/manager. And that should not interfere with any personal relationship they have directly with God.
C. TO WIVES—WIVES TO HUSBANDS
The wife has two lines of access to the Father; one personally and directly, and the other functionally and indirectly through her husband.
She may also have another access to the Father via a boss in a work or other situation.
1. Personal
QUESTION to the wife: In your personal relationship with the Father, has He ever said to you, “Don’t bother Me, I am too busy”? Has He ever been rude or impatient?
In this direct personal access, she knows God perfectly in all His attributes: love, compassion, firmness, care, rebuke, kindness, understanding, undivided attention, respect, etc.
For her, the personal response should be complete and unquestioning devotion, and gratitude, and willing submission—there is no excuse for any other action.
** NOTE: God’s love is agapē (ἀγάπη)—the same love that is commanded of husbands, as follows.
2. Functional
In the functional relationship with God the Father, the wife goes through her husband to the Father via Christ (see the diagram above). Has your husband ever said, “Don’t bother me, I am too busy” when you have approached him in need—since he stands in the place of God to you? Has he ever been rude or impatient?
Hopefully, it is the same response as the wife receives in the personal relationship.
The premise is his required responsibility to her:
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
33 … each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
Ephesians 5:25-29, 33, emphases added.
- “love”, ἀγαπᾶτε (from agapaō) and the corresponding noun agapē present “the characteristic word of Christianity, and since the Spirit of revelation has used it to express ideas previously unknown, inquiry into its use, whether in Greek literature or in the Septuagint, throws but little light upon its distinctive meaning in the NT”.
Agapē and agapaō are used in the NT (a) to describe the attitude of God toward His Son; (b) to convey His will to His children concerning their attitude one toward another; (c) to express the essential nature of God (Vine et al, 1996, Vol. 2, 381–382).
- “love”—here as a verb, it is second person plural present active imperative. The imperative is a clear command—and there are no prerequisites or corollaries. A husband is commanded to love His wife unconditionally. There is no excuse.
- This is the same quality of love shown by God the Father in the wife’s personal relationship. Does she receive this same love in the functional relationship?
The question now becomes, does the role of the husband interfere with the wife’s concept of God as she has experienced it personally? Does her husband reflect the loving relationship she experiences personally, of the One Who loves her, cares for her, respects her, is always available for her, and recognizes her dignity and worth as a person?
Does she hear the Voice of God through her husband?
3. Respect
Respect should be in both directions. Husband to wife, and wife to husband.
Wife to husband
Paul addresses this:
33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33, emphasis added.
Too often marriage relationships are premised on soppy “Oh I love you … ”, without the prerequisite respect that is foundational. Often wives are desperately seeking for the affection they crave, to be reciprocated.
Husband to wife
The need for respect is especially applicable to husbands, who too often “put on the jam” for their own selfish purposes as they head for bed, but show little affection otherwise!
In the Old Testament, the godly woman in Proverbs, in part in reflection of who she is, and also in how she supports and provides for her husband—showing him respect—results in him being a man of renown—respected in the community:
23Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
Proverbs 31:23, emphasis added.
- “the city gate”, in the ancient world, the place where the elders of the city met, and tried cases, enacted punishments, and witnessed transactions (see Swincer 2015, #3.4).
He reciprocates her respect:
10A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12, emphases added.
28Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
Proverbs 31:28, emphasis added.
Respect results in a truly satisfying and mature relationship that affects all areas of the marriage.
**NOTE: Details are given of Peter’s direction to a husband, concerning his responsibilities to his wife. He should treat her carefully:
- Apportioning preciousness to her,
- Living with her “knowledgably”, appreciating her needs,
- Treating her with respect as the weaker vessel,
- Loving her—always with her best interests at heart,
- Appreciating her complementary role in their relationship,
- Respecting her joint-heirship in salvation.
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